So often I’m asked what “I do”. That question makes me so incredibly twitchy because I find it so hard to put all that I am and all that I’m capable of into a title or even a sentence.
More recently, as I’ve officially opened for business, people are asking why I chose to become a health coach. I’m going to do my best to put the answer to that question into words.
We’re all familiar with the saying, “Jack of All Trades, Master of None”.
As someone who has lived a life of curiosity with a constant hunger for knowledge I had never considered mySelf to be a Jack of All Trades, Master of None until about a year and a half ago when working with one of my mentors. As we were discussing which direction I was headed with the amazing work I was doing I struggled to answer her question, “Why aren’t you open for business yet? You are so far beyond ready and the world needs you Amber, so what are you waiting for?”
A question that felt as though it should be so easy to answer began to cause my cheeks to redden and my armpits to sweat. I truly didn’t know what was holding me back. I sat there staring at her blankly pondering her question.
After a few moments that felt like forever, I took a deep breath and began…
“So here’s the thing,” I said, “I don’t feel as though I have the papers hanging on my wall to back up all of my experience and knowledge and what I have to offer. I have life experience that most people go a lifetime without gaining and I’m not even 40 yet. I have been through things that have brought me to this place and given me a knowledge and understanding of how people work that you simply can’t gain sitting in a classroom. I come from a place where I can’t explain how I do what I do or how I know what I know. It’s just there. It’s in me. It’s in my bones. It's my soul work. How do you turn that into a piece of paper and hang it on the wall?”
Now she was the one that was quiet, pondering. After a few moments of her own thoughtful silence she responded, “Well, here’s the thing. You’re right, we live in a society that places more value on neatly framed documents hanging on the wall than life experience and natural gifts that can’t be taught. So I ask you this Amber, can you name one institution that I’ve graduated from?” Confused I muttered, “Huh?” “Exactly,” she continued, “those papers certainly have value, but sitting here in my office as someone who has worked with me for years now you were unable to name one thing written on those papers hanging all around my office. My point is this, education and credentials are certainly important, but they don’t account for everything. In fact, life experience and the ability to hone in our God given gifts and share them with the world is invaluable. It sounds to me like you need to pick something and stick with it. Master it before moving on. Your excitement for learning and sharing what you know has allowed you to flit about from one thing to the next never quite mastering it to the degree you feel will qualify you to work with others. I think it’s time you look more closely at that. Right now you are a Jack of All Trades, A Master of None.”
Oh this felt so icky to me. A Jack of All Trades. Yuck. No. No thank you. I certainly don’t want to be known as a Jack of All Trades. We all know being a master at what you do is what most successful people strive for, right? Right?
Sitting there in her office that had become home to me I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I have spent countless hours in classrooms, workshops, group discussions, you name it, learning and teaching, teaching and learning. Was that all a waste of my time? What had that all been for?
I went home and for days thought about little else and what I came up with was this:
I often say that I graduated from the school of hard knocks. I was schooled in a less than desirable way on many painful subjects.
I was raised in poverty. My parents, who had nothing, still gave more than they could to others in need. I spent my entire childhood and young adulthood with my mother constantly reminding me to be patient and nonjudgmental with others because “everyone has a story Amber. A story you know absolutely nothing about.”
I was exposed to death and dying beginning at a very young age. So much death. Close death.
I graduated from a community college in my early 20’s because it was all I could manage to do to put myself through school. I worked 3 jobs during that time to keep myself in school and help out my family. I was given a full scholarship right before graduation and not only did I have to pass it on to the next person, but I decided not to tell anyone because I didn’t want anyone to feel bad for me that I had to pass up the opportunity. I also didn’t want my family to feel any more guilt than they already did for how we lived.
My father became very ill when I was 13 and was misdiagnosed for several years. During that time, I watched my mother, who battled severe depression and anxiety, steadily decline emotionally until she finally broke and could no longer handle it. I became my father’s advocate and learned the ins and outs of Western medicine and medical billing.
I watched as my brother’s pain turned into alcoholism and addiction. During this I learned even more about our health care system, which is reactive instead preventative and largely based on politics.
After losing my brother and my mother and being left to handle my dad’s care alone I began to realize more than ever the importance of my own health, both physical and emotional. Through the experience and hard work of working toward healing mySelf I began to truly appreciate that my health is whole body. Everyone’s health is about mind-body.
One day during a discussion with a client she commented that it sounded like I was basically doing something similar with my clients that she was doing and that I should consider looking into the school that she graduated from a few years prior. I was interested in learning more and looked into it, however, at the time I could not afford the rather costly tuition.
I know that when the Universe wants you to learn something it will keep putting it in front of you until you get the message. Well, after looking into the program and deciding I couldn’t afford it, it kept popping up everywhere I went. I kept meeting people who were graduates. I kept seeing advertisements. I had never even heard of IIN until that afternoon sitting with my client and now it was following me everywhere I went.
When I looked more closely at the premise of the program I began to understand why. The program at IIN embodied everything I so wholeheartedly believed in. The idea that in order for people to be healthy they needed to find balance in all areas of their life. That true health wasn’t only about the food we put in our bodies, but also the things that feed our souls.
After about 8 months of frustration and not really knowing how I was going to pull off the finances of a certification program, handle my own schooling while homeschooling my only child and somehow turn it into a successful career, I decided this was what it had all been leading up to.
The Jack of All Trades journey had just been leading me up to this. My experiences and knowledge combined with my compassion, empathy and the fact that I truly come from a place of nonjudgment, are what make me a success.
I’m a success at being a perfectly imperfect human. What I have to offer is an open heart and an open mind. I won’t be for everybody, but I trust the Universe will give me exactly what I’m meant to have and will send to me the exact people who need me in their lives.
So here I am. A Jack of All Trades who decided to dig in her heels and focus on completely mastering something, but guess what I learned in the process? There is no such thing as mastery. You can never really master this type of work, but what you can do is always approach it with an open heart, an open mind, a willingness to listen and learn and a knowing that you are never truly the master, rather you are always a student.