I’m always looking for ways to increase my knowledge, to strengthen my practice as a health coach and energy healer and ultimately to improve upon myself as a person.
EFT (tapping) is one of my favorite tools to use with any given issue my clients have and, of course, I personally use it all the time.
Last night I was watching a movie on the science behind EFT and its powerful impact on even the most difficult circumstances in a person’s life.
One of the psychologists speaking asked, “If you could go back in your life, what do you wish never happened?”
I had been looking down taking notes at the time. I immediately looked up at the screen and paused the movie.
My answer was immediate and clear as day…wow, I thought, not one single thing!
My response to this was so strong because I know my truth. My truth is that I’ve had to overcome so much during my 40 years in this body. So. Very. Much. And although it has been ridiculously hard, I know that I wouldn’t change one single bit of it.
These experiences, hardships, traumas and triumphs have molded me into the very person that I am today.
I don’t need to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes because I have walked a million in my own and what I have learned is this…
I will never judge you or how you respond to a given situation because I am not you. I am not living your experience, you are.
My own journey has made me all of the things I am. I'm kind, compassionate, loving, accepting, empathetic and brave. Does that mean that I’m able to be all of these things all of the time? No. I slip sometimes, but the difference now is that I'm aware. I am so very aware of my strengths, weaknesses and how I show up in the world.
I thought about that question all night long. “What do you wish never happened?”
It made me sad to think that there are beautiful souls out there wishing away parts of their lives. I began to play the movie reel of my life in my head really wondering if maybe there was something that I would wish away. The answer was still nothing.
Of course I wish my mother was still here. It hurt my heart to watch her die a very slow, painful and traumatic death. But the other side of that coin is that watching her go through her experience and then to lose her in that way was the catalyst for the most recent portion of my own journey, which has opened me up in a way so beautiful that I can't even put it into words.
Watching my beloved mother fight for her life made me want to do everything in my power to improve upon my own health, both physical and emotional. It increased my desire to do everything I am capable of in order to ensure that I will be around for my own daughter for a very long time and to help others do the same.
This is my truth.
Before she died I was petrified of death. What is death like? What does it feel like? What does it look like?
Holding someone as they take their last breath is a gift powerful beyond words. That experience compares only with the birth of my daughter.
It showed me that death, even under some of the ugliest circumstances, can be peaceful and beautiful. That experience allowed me to see a part of myself that was able to do something I never thought I was capable of.
Trust me, I’m not trying to wrap hardships and trauma up in pretty little packages and tie them with a bow. I assure you that the events leading up to that moment were not beautiful and certainly did not feel like a gift at the time. They were traumatic and I am still healing. This is about what I was able to take away from those moments and what I learned during that most painful time of my life. It’s about how all of that impacted how I show up in the world today.
I didn't get to have any of those experiences with my brother, which allowed me to create a very painful story in my head about what his passing was like for him. It added to the trauma and the fear. In fact, it created fears that hadn't even existed before, so I get it.
Losing my brother suddenly and unexpectedly, in a very traumatic way, has led me down a path of non-judgement. He was so much more than his addictions. So much more than his mental illness.
Loving him unconditionally taught me that there is so much more to a person than what we think we know. Because of him I am able to see past your surface and into the core of your being. I know that who you truly are deep down inside is so much more than your human experiences. You are not your struggles or even your successes. You are not your drug or alcohol addiction. You are not the skeletons in your closet. You are not your food addiction or your anger or your rage. You are not your disease, your mental illness, your guilt, your fear or the number on the scale. You are so much more than the sum of your parts.
So my answer to that question is a firm, “not one single thing”, but it goes so much deeper than that.
No one ever wants to be the fat kid with holes in their shoes who is bullied inside of a learning institution where all they want to do is be accepted, no one wants to live in poverty and go hungry, no one ever wants to be raped or held at gunpoint, no one wants to be in an abusive relationship, no one wants to watch an addict suffer or their mother fight just to live, no one wants to hear that they can’t have any more babies, no one wants the phone to ring in the middle of the night with the most devastating news you can imagine, no one ever wants to hear, “I need you to sit down, I have to tell you something.”
The truth is that these are just some of my experiences and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone else, but more importantly I’m not going to wish them away either. Each one has brought with it a powerful gift that I cherish and being able to see it that way has really put an end to my suffering.